The randomness of the unexpected

A thought of 5 acts

Act 1

When I was 5, I wanted to be a singer. Somewhere in my teenage years, my voice changed, so I had to scrap that plan.

When I was 8, I thought being magician for a living would be cool. In a pre-youtube age, it was kinda difficult (if not impossible) to learn tricks on my own. I didn´t have much patience, so I ditched that plan.

When I was 13, I thought being a veterinarian was my call, until I realized I couldn´t dissect any animal as part of the “learning” process.

Around 15 years I decided to study tv and cinematography, as I loved watching television and coming up with stories and all that. I did 5 years of communication studies (majoring in….yes! TV and cinematography). After a while, I discovered that filming involved a lot of physical work, and standing up a lot. Since I had a lumbago problem, this kinda made me lose my interest in this branch of arts.

Somewhere in between my University studies, I thought riding a motorbike would be cool and trendy. I had no money to buy a Kawasaki Eliminator (my dreamed beauty back then). Mac jobs were out of the question, as I would have to work years before I could make some decent money. In my naïveness I thought “heck, let’s make business and bring some money $$$”.

And so I opened a small business….like any other one out there. Although in the end, even though I lost more money than I made, it arouse on me the interest in business-related topics.

When I finished college, I decided to study a master in business administration abroad, and so I did. I took a plane and traveled to Belgium…from all places on earth.

While studying abroad, I got a job offer from a local company. I took the job.

During that first year, I met a girl, fell in love, and decided to extend my stay a bit longer.

I did another master degree, learned the local languages, found another job, got married, had one kid, and then another one. 

And then it hit me:

“I made it”

I had the perfect job, the perfect family, the perfect life. Everything my family wished me for, I had achieved it. Thus the “I made it”

But, had I really?

Act 2

Long ago, when I was out of college, my stepfather was taking me somewhere and we stopped in a traffic light. There was a gardener cutting some grass from a park next to us. My stepfather looked at him and said out loud “I am sure this guy is happier than I will ever be”. I saw the gardener through the window, he looked like a simple man, and he was probably earning the minimum wage. He was probably a person without many physical possessions, nor a house, or living in a nice area of the city.

My stepfather on the other hand had everything: a brilliant career, the fancy auto, living in one of the most exclusive districts of the capital, a family that loved him, and distinction from his peers.

He also had many things to take care of: houses, cars, people. His high profile government job demanded most of his time, if not all. He used to work 14 hours a day, and Saturdays, and most of Sundays as well.

The gardener probably had an 8-hour shift. He wasn´t making much, but he was probably home more often than my stepfather. He didn´t have other job-related responsibilities

He wasn´t feeling happy. He felt obliged, like he had no other choice than to keep doing what he was doing.

He realized that despite having it all (according to society standards)... he felt empty.  

It made me think: how many times do we follow this path because it is the definition of success that has been imposed on us since school, high school, University, etc etc?

How many times do we aim and settle for “security” and “stability”?

Everyone is different, and everyone has a different story, motivation, background. We all wish to be recognized, to be different, to be “successful”. Success leads to money, money leads to security, and security leads to realization. It all should end in “happiness”….right?

That moment at the traffic light, I learned something from my stepfather I had not learned before: that perhaps the definition of happiness differs somewhat from what society has told us all along.


And I felt exactly like that when I was thinking I had "made it" in Belgium. But I was just living in a golden cage, doing the exact same job, again and again. Like my stepfather, emptiness had grown inside me.



Act 3

By the beginning of 2011, I quit my job in Belgium,  We decided it was the opportunity to move back to Peru while the kids were small, and see how things would work out on this side of the world. It was a new adventure, and it brought fire to my heart after many years.

It wasn´t long before I found a job as a University professor, and working as a banker in a financial institution. We rented a nice flat, bought a decent car, build a house on the beach, and finally decided to buy an apartment close to the kid´s school.

But after some years, I felt it was all a deja vu again: reach business targets, receive the bonus, make more money for the bank, bring more business, bring more money......and so on.....and so on.....and so on. I felt I was back in the rat race, only that this time I totally aware of it.

An opportunity appeared to start a new business with one of my clients. I took the leap of faith, and by the end of 2015, I quit again my  job

I was back in square 0, trying to make things work again.

Although I was making more money than before, my wife wasn´t happy. She felt she had no “security”, as I had a variable income.

Yes, being independent means no fixed income, and it means that plans have to constantly change. It means one has to adapt to the situation as they come. 

She couldn´t stand that…and she added other things to the mix as well. 

She took the kids and left the house, looking for “stability” somewhere else.

So, instead of staying in an empty flat, I decided to rent it and move back to my dad´s place. 

My father divorced my mother when I was 7, so it was the first time in 30 years I would live with my father again…not exactly the prodigal son story, but there can be some parallelism involved.

It was also the first time I would live with my younger siblings (more than 10 years age gap between us).

I remember that during my stay there, I wanted to bring in some friends for a barbeque. My father didn´t allow me because he was going to be out on a trip, and one of his rules was no house parties while he was away. It seemed the rule had to apply for me as well.

Being told by your dad at age 37 to not do something as simple as a bbq with your friends sucks big time! Especially after having lived on your own for more than 15 years.

Act 4

All in all, I like to think that when one door closes, a new one is being opened.

The business thing with my client didn´t work out as expected, so I started doing independent business consulting...I like to think of it as a good decision.

Being single again is not the decision I took....but after a while I can also say is not the worse that could have happened to me.

I am not rich, nor do I intend to be. 

I do not have big companies as clients, nor do I expect to have them.

My name will probably not transcend in time and space…..I´m ok with that.

However, I do have more quality time to spend with my children (although I don´t live with them). I can pick them up from their after school activities, be with them on the weekends, even do some trips on our own abroad!

I can visit my grandmother during the week, and have lunch with any other member of my family on any given day,.

I can also have a coffee during the afternoon, or arrange customer visits and meetings depending on my day.

I can decide to watch Netflix all day or go have a walk close to the seaside

I have something not many people have: freedom. And freedom doesn´t have a price.

Although this means I will not drive the fancy car, or live in a fancy place, or go the most trendy places in town.

I use to worry about that in the past.

Not anymore.

Act 5

The unexpected will always happen, and always in a random way.

I wrote a long time ago “Destiny is never written, and there lies the beauty of it”. Now that I come to think about it, I might have it right this time.

In my short 38 years, I think that the meaning of life is about enjoying "the process"...whatever that may be.

"The process" has to be full of adventures.....setbacks......joys.....opportunities to fall and rise again, as many times as it might be necessary.

It´s the first days of 2018. Everything at this moment in my life is more uncertain that it has ever been.

It would be easy to say "Life is a biatch?", but that ain´t me. I took some punches already, let the other ones come too.

There is only one thing I can be certain about: a new start is about to begin.

So watch me world……here I come again.